Getting used to 3.

Getting used to 3 kids has been a challenge.  And, truly I'm still not used to it. My car is super crowded. It takes more time and effort to get everyone situated in the car and drive off.  Our buggie in any store is crowded.  I went to walmart for the first time by myself yesterday.  I'm pleased to report that I survived.  Everyone was really good throughout the short walmart trip and only started the crying and screaming once we got out to the car.  I'd rather them do that then cry and scream in the store.  All in all it wasn't a bad experience, just exhausting.  This morning I ended up with both Kailey and Logan crying at the same time.  That also was very exhausting.  I have a terrible headache that hasn't subsided yet.  Actually, I've gotten a headache every morning that I am by myself with the kids so far.  From the moment I wake up I am constantly moving to take care of my kids.  By the time I get them food, Logan is hungry.  After I nurse him, the kids are done with breakfast.  I've been having a hard time eating breakfast lately.  I suppose I've been missing the window of opportunity. I wish I liked milk and such enough to drink what Michael drinks every morning.  Not for the weight-loss but for the super quick aspect of it.  So by the end of breakfast time I find myself in a less than cheery mood, still hungry, with a headache.


Now-- I shouldn't focus on the problem, but the solution (for those of you reading this and do not know-- this little tid bit comes from my favorite book of all time.  The Sword of Truth which includes all of the series in my mind).  


My solution is form a schedule and try with all my might to stick with it.  The problem? Firstly, I hate making schedules and having to stick with them.  Secondly, old habits die hard.  My solution includes a reasonable bedtime, that isn't 12am.  The only solace I find in this is that I can stay up later on the days that I have Michael home the next day.  I suppose this will mean weekend nights and then every so often a day during the week. I need to sleep earlier, so that I can wake up earlier in the morning and have time for myself to eat, read my scriptures, and to get my stuff in order before the kids get up.  This should get a ton easier once Logan starts sleeping through the night.  That hasn't happened yet.. he is only 3 weeks and 4 days old.  


Starting in September, I need the schedule to include "learning time" for Haiden.  We are not putting him in preschool or anything this year, so he really needs this during the day. This time needs to be uninterupted by Kailey and Logan.  This means that I need to schedule nursing Logan and Kailey's nap to the tee for this time to be born.  


I also need "play time" to be included.  This basically means time for Haiden and Kailey to exert their energy.  With Haiden especially this is a must! 


Eating/cooking... Yes I need this to be schedule mainly because I hate it so much.  I have to be in a mood to cook.  Those moods don't come very often when I feel stretched thin in every other area.


My schedule should also include cleaning.  I had a good cleaning schedule that I was able to keep up with for about a month.  That month was amazing because I truly wasn't drowning in laundry, but I am now.  I currently have a mountain in my bedroom that I need to tame.  


Now, "me time"? What does that even mean? Oh, I know! Sadly, in my life right now that means a short bath at the end of my tiring day.  


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Do I FEEL like a good wife and mother? Sometimes. I hate feeling exhausted, and then pretending not to be or telling myself "You really are not tired.  Get a grip" in order to be what I need to be as a wife. The same goes for being a mother.  


I have a daughter who is so cute and beautiful. I love her so much and I wouldn't trade a single little brown curl on her head for anything, but she is exhausting.  Definitely my most exhausting child.  Yes, Haiden has his moments... but he is also at the age where reasoning is an option.  I look forward to that day with Kailey.  


Do I FEEL like a good dog owner? No. And for this question, I don't even want to explain.  Or do I even need to for that matter?  I felt sad for Phoebe sometimes, now I feel worse for her.  Hopefully a schedule can help her situation or at some point if something still needs to give......


What changed between 2 kids and 3 kids? My answer is simply that I already felt a little stretched with two kids, so with our newest addition I only stretched myself further.  Where a schedule was a good thing to have, it has now become a must have.


I love my family.  I believe I would do anything for them.  I love my husband who is very supportive and loving.  I love my kiddos.  Haiden, Kailey, and Logan are wonderful blessings from Heavenly Father.  I only need to get a grip on things, get accustomed to 3 kids, and form a schedule that will allow me to breathe.