So I went to the dermatologist today. I thought I was seeing a 'she'.. but I was able to see the doctor instead of a nurse practitioner, so it was a 'he'. And he was not impressed with my skin. :/ I had two moles removed, which he said looked fine but he could understand me wanting them removed because of the places they were in. One was under my boob, and the other toward the back of my neckline. But since I was in a gown, he was able to check out the others on my stomach and back. I have like 4 or 5 that he said he did not like the look of and wants to remove once the baby is born. So I have another appt with him in Sept.
I really, really hope and pray I don't have skin cancer. I've had a lot of these moles on my body since I was around eight years old. I don't know why my mom never took me to the dermatologist... and I don't know why I haven't taken myself sooner. Dumb.
Looking back, I honestly don't know why I ever had an infatuation with my skin being brown and tan each summer and sometimes throughout the winter. Tanning beds are terrible for your skin, and the sun is as well. "What was I thinking?!" Well, all I can think of is I didn't have a very good example of fear in the sun. My mom loves the tanning bed even if she doesn't much anymore, she used too. And, she used to be big on tanning by a pool. Heck, I have a nana who up until a few years ago owned a tanning bed in her house. I don't even know if I wore sunscreen as much as I should have as a child. I know for sure that I used to spend summers at my cousins in their pool when I was very little. I have no memory of ever getting sunscreen lathered on us. But this sort of lifestyle spurn on throughout my teen life as I thought a tan was needed and necessary every summer. I have that skin that tans pretty easy, so tanning always worked well for me. But with that said, if I tan so easy... why not use sunscreen? Because I did not know any better.
I also understand now that a tan is a lifestyle of the south. It is such a hot climate that if you go outside, you immediately crave the A/C or a pool. Here in Utah, people don't seem to be worried or obsessive over a tan simply because summers can be spent doing tons of other activities and it only lasts for about 3 or 4 months tops.
What I have learned and understand now is that I was ridiculously stupid. Tanning beds are dangerous. I will not ever get in another one. The sun can be dangerous, I will not go outside with a bottle of tanning oil or afroseen ever again. It will be a can of sunscreen spray or a bottle of sunscreen lotion. I know that being lathered in sunscreen is a parent's responsibility for their children up until a certain age. Whether my parents truly were great sunscreen latherers or not, I never learned the lesson for myself. So either I didn't have a good example, or someone didn't hammer the dangers of the sun in my head good enough. I will be very diligent about sunscreen on my kids and they will understand why sunscreen is important. My daughter will be told that a tan is not everything, that her skin is much more important in the long run. She will see her mother as someone who doesn't have to be "tan". I will strive to an example to her, so that she will have that in her life to remember.
Once again, I hope and pray that I don't have skin cancer. It's serious and my squinting eyes, pointed at the sun are now turned for rest of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment